"Proslogion"

"What do you love, O my flesh? What do you long for, O my soul? It is there; whatever you love, whatever you long for, it is there." - Anselm

I love words. Sometimes I read words so beautiful that I write them down just to look at them again. I read Anselm's "Proslogion" for my Intro. to Philosophy class. I loved it. I found it humbling, beautiful, and easy to relate to.

Anselm was a man who seemed to be desperate to understand and love God. Through his writing, I felt as if he was someone who was born with not just faith in God's existence, but also the knowledge of God's existence. I relate to this, perhaps in a strange way. I've always known the existence of God, but I have not always had faith in God.

"...I do long to understand your truth in some way, your truth which my heart believes and loves. For, I do not seek to understand in order to believe; I believe in order to understand. For I also believe that "Unless I believe, I shall not understand." - Anselm

This part of the reading was where I found the most innocence in Anselm. It was his sincere plea to understand God. He admitted to not understand God, yet still believed in God while seeking this understanding. This is faith. This is the type of faith that surpasses all reason and logic because it is felt so deeply by the heart that it believes what it knows into existence.

This faith is truth to me. It is what I hope to always hold and acknowledge.

Watchmen

"Nobody knew I was there. These moments were just mine. Everything felt secret and enchanted." - Laurie Jupiter

I finished reading the graphic novel "Watchmen" by Alan Moore today. I'm not very familiar with the comic book world. I was lent a copy of "Watchmen" by one of my roommates who loves comics. I saw the "Watchmen" movie last year when it first came out with a friend who is also a fan of comics. I agreed to go see the movie without knowing anything about the storyline. I thought, "A movie about super heroes? Sure, why not?" Even though most of the characters in the story are arguably not "super" heroes and are just heroes, the movie struck an interest in me that I was not expecting. A philosophical interest. Becoming numb from the gruesome violence in the 3 hour long movie was the only downside for me, but I cannot deny its importance in setting the tone for the whole story.

Reading the graphic novel was good for me. I am a fan of quotes and analyzing characters' thoughts and words. Surprisingly, my favorite character was Rorschach who doesn't say much and when he does speak it's always of an unforgiving, yet determined view of the world and its current state. An interesting quote from Carl Jung is given at the end of one chapter.

"As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." - C. G. Jung "Memories, Dreams, Reflections"

Rorschach fights for what he thinks is right in the world and fights against what he believes are the evils of the world. I think that is his life's meaning. Though this quote by Carl Jung can inspire us to find a beautiful, refined meaning in life such as love, kindness and happiness, I think the meaning Rorschach finds is just as admirable in a different way.

I enjoyed the relationship between Laurie and Dr. Manhattan. Laurie, a normal, imperfect, female human and Dr. Manhattan, a man who has become supernatural and so very detached from a human being's way of thinking. Their relationship is overwhelming and beautiful at the same time.

"To distill so specific a form from that chaos of improbability, like turning air to gold...the thermo-dynamic miracle...anybody in the world...but the world is so full of people, so crowded with these miracles that they become commonplace and we forget. I forget...we gaze continually at the world and it grows dull in our perceptions. Yet seen from another's vantage point, as if new, it may still take the breath away." - Dr. Manhattan

The world continually takes my breath away. People. All of our potential for good. The ability to love and move forward. The best part of ourselves that always lives somewhere, no matter how deep, in our hearts. The perfection of our imperfections.

"Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet." - Dr. Manhattan

I was very impressed with the story. It made for a great graphic novel and movie. I will end with yet another awesome quote. A quote that inspires all to fight for the world that we each deserve.

"We in this country, in this generation, are by destiny, rather than choice, the watchmen on the walls of world freedom." - J.F.K.'s intended speech

The Same Taste

"Our lives are made...in these small hours...these little wonders...these twists and turns of fate...Time falls away...but these small hours...these small hours...still remain..." - Rob Thomas, "Little Wonders"

I was helping my sister make a Filipino dish for a potluck lunch at her work. The dish was Chicken Adobo. It's probably one of the most delicious ways you can prepare chicken. It has a very distinct taste from the mix of garlic, pepper, onion, vinegar, oil and soy sauce. I remember my parents making it from time to time while I was growing up. The smell and taste of Chicken Adobo still bring me right back to my family's old kitchen. Watching either my mom or dad stir the pot. Then, being handed a hot plate of it when it was done.

Trying to recreate the same taste was a challenge. Would we need to add more garlic or perhaps it'd need more vinegar? By the time the adobo was finished, it tasted good, but not the same. I wanted so badly to have my mom and dad there. Not just to perfect the adobo, but for the familiarity of their presence. The familiarity that seems only certain people can bring back to you. In this case, those people were my parents. I must have missed a step in the preparation that they would have known.

Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like if they were still around like when I was younger. Not that things were always perfect, but I guess a part of my heart will always long for that sense of comfort I used to have knowing they were there. The longing for the taste of an unspoken, yet known love from mom and dad.

The summer of country music

I didn't like country music until I was 11 years old. For some reason, my twin sister had started watching CMT (Country Music Television). Without even giving it a chance, I was annoyed with her sudden liking for this music. I flat out asked her one day, "Why do you want to listen to this music??? It's so stupid!" Haha, even now I am embarrassed of my 11-year old immaturity.

I'm not sure what changed in me that summer of 1997 that suddenly made me start loving country music. Maybe it was my discovery of songs by Toby Keith, Faith Hill, Garth Brooks, Shania Twain, Reba McEntire, Martina McBride, Brooks And Dunn, Randy Travis, George Strait, Lee Ann Womack, Chely Wright, Alan Jackson and other artists that grabbed and held onto my attention.

I became a loyal CMT-viewer with my twin sister. We knew every song and artist by heart. I bought my first country music tape which was Shania Twain's "Come On Over" album. I was charmed by twang. I adored the stories sung to the melody of guitars and fiddles. I cried listening to the tales of woe and heartache. I was empowered by the underdogs' victories in each 3 minute tune. I memorized each lyric; cherishing its simplicity and straightforwardness. I loved country music.

Today, I still seek out humor, poetry, interesting stories, tales of wisdom and heartfelt expressions. I find that all of these things are most easily accessible in country music. Whenever I hear someone knock country music, I laugh and wonder how long it's going to take them to find out that they actually love it. =)

I love your accent

A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language and for language. - Gaston Bachelard

I have always been mesmerized by accents. I think hearing people with different accents speak is probably the coolest thing ever. Tampa is a fairly diverse city, but it doesn't have as much international appeal as some of the larger cities in the USA. Some of the common accents here are Hispanic accents(since we are so close to Puerto Rico and Cuba), American Southern accents and some American Northern accents(New York, Boston and others who were tired of the snow up there :)). Occasionally, I may get lucky and run into someone with a less common British, German, Slavic, Asian, Middle Eastern or Indian accent. Any accent is awesome though.

Whenever I meet someone with an accent, all I really want to do is keep asking questions so they'll keep talking. Lol. :) It's still so neat though. The different ways people pronounce their words and express their thoughts. I usually think of myself as someone without an accent, but one of my friends pointed out that I have an American accent. I guess I really can't argue that point. ;)

I love how you bring your accent with you wherever you may go in the world. It sort of gives people a glimpse of where you're from and it's a part of who you are. Accents seem to be reminders of how big this world actually is. Reminders that not everyone grew up the way you did, gotten the chance to see what you've seen or know what you know. :)

A question for my question

I was sitting in my English 2 class today watching some more of my classmates' presentations on different authors. Even though I was really tired from staying up late working on math problems the night before, I was genuinely impressed by what I learned about these few different authors. The first author presented was Mark Twain. You could spend days researching everything this man has said. Everything he said was phrased with such cleverness and wit.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

This was one of Mark Twain's more sincere quotes, but still very wise and thought-provoking. I really enjoyed it and I hope to keep it in mind whenever I am unsure of taking a risk. :)

The second author was Jodi Picoult. She's a contemporary author, who I've never paid much attention to, honestly. I recognized her name from the previews for the movie "My Sister's Keeper", which is based on her novel with the same title. My classmate shared two quotes that I found exceptionally smart.

"Maybe who we are isn't so much about what we do, but rather what we're capable of when we least expect it." - Jodi Picoult

"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them." - Jodi Picoult

The first quote made me smile. =o) I think most people would like to believe that their lives have greater meaning than just the daily routine that is usually carried out. Sometimes we don't know how much we are actually capable of until we are faced with a situation that demands us to give everything that's inside of us.

The second quote struck a nerve in me, because I've always been admirable of loners. I've always found their independence and confidence to be interesting. I've never really stopped to think about why someone may have become a loner. Now I realized that maybe they were molded that way instead of born that way? I always assumed that there was some rare strength in their personality that caused them not to crave other people's acceptance or companionship. After hearing that quote, it kind of reminded me that even though some people are more independent than others; they are still human and must require some type of human affection - no matter how unapparent that need may seem.

I've maybe reevaluated what I think of when I think of "strength". Humans are definitely not unfeeling, indestructible robots, so why would I think more highly of someone with the emotional tendencies of a robot? Lol. =o) I guess everyone wants to put on a strong face for the world to see. Maybe that is what is expected of us in some way? I wish I could end these blog entries with groundbreaking conclusions to the questions I ask myself, but I guess here's another entry ended with another question. ;)

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Do you remember being little and having adults ask you, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" It's as if we had such clear-cut visions of who we wanted to become. The whole world was ours for the taking. "I'm going to be a doctor!" "I want to sing!" "When I grow up, I'm going to design rockets for NASA!" Your answer was so enthusiastic and it was a declaration of your dreams to the world. Whatever your answer may have been, it usually resulted in some form of an amused smile and hearing, "That's nice."

Now, being 24 years old, I can't help but desperately want to answer this question again. I would like to think if I knew the answer that I would shout it from the rooftops as if I were 8 years old again. :) "Hey, world! Listen up! I'm all grown up and I'm going to be a.......!" Haha.

There are many professions that I admire and find interesting, but I wonder if the right one is just supposed to tap me on the shoulder one day and say, "Hi, Diana. It's me - your destiny. Sorry I'm a little bit late, but I lost track of time. Here I am!" Lol. Wouldn't that be awesome?! Well, maybe it happens that way or kind of differently.... ;) But I guess we will always have changing dreams of what we will do and who we will become. Who is to say what we are destined for?

Also, growing up doesn't stop you from dreaming. I think that getting older makes you more susceptible to putting more value in your logic and reasoning than your passions though. It's good to be practical, but when you look back in history or even now to modern day success stories; it's not the practical or cautious figures we tend to admire. Sometimes I wonder if your fate is only revealed to you once you are willing to offer enough fire and passion into whatever it is that you think you want. Oh geez, I could talk in circles forever, lol, but I guess I will end this entry on that note. :)